Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
