Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
