Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Its guy fieris flavor town of sufferingâ„¢
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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