I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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