Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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