so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
