Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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