I wish they made helmets for livers.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
