Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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