The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
