I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
