I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
