My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
My vagina just recognized that song.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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