I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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