is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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