how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
