you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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