My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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