you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
