Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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