Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
