So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
