I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
