Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
