Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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