I want to walk on stilts...naked
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Why is your signature on my underwear?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
