she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
In other news, I just burned my penis
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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