I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I have already put on my inside pants.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize
