D3 body, D1 cock
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
