Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
