If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Randomize
