So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Randomize
