She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
