We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize