I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
