worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
