is your mom at the bar?
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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