those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
