How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
