fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
