Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
