On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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