Dual....:-)
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
