it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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