I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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