Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
