you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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