I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
My ass is underappreciated
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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