i permit you to call me
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
