I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
