if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
you told grandpa to call you daddy
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
