He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize