he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
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