ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize