I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
