You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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