It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
